Vaughn D. Miller (nee Nupp), age 77 of Parma; beloved wife for 40 years of Alan R.; loving mother of Marlene Lapp (James) and Lisa Rosbough (Michael); dear grandmother of Michael Lapp (Jessica) and Michelle Dolence (Eric); great-grandmother of Isabella and a baby on the way; sister of the late Roland Holleyoak and the late Raymond and Jack Nupp; aunt; great aunt and friend of many. Passed away at her home on Monday, October 1, 2012. Funeral Service at the Funeral Home on Friday, October 5, 2012 at 10 a.m. Cremation by Busch Crematory. Inurnment at Sunset Memorial Park, North Olmsted. Friends may call at the BUSCH FUNERAL HOME, 7501 RIDGE RD., PARMA FROM 2-4 AND 6-8 P.M. ON THURSDAY.
440-842-7800 www.buschfuneral.com
Eulogy (October 5, 2012):
VAUGHN D. MILLER
July 31, 1935- October 1, 2013
Song chosen by the family to be played: Rod Stewart- Someone to Watch Over Me
Hello everyone. My name is Barbara Habecker. I am a Celebrant for the Busch Funerals. We are here to remember and celebrate the life of Vaughn Miller. It is our hope that every part of this service will honor her life lived among us.
I am sure you would like to join me in saying to her husband Alan, to her daughters Marlene and Lisa, her grandchildren Michael and Michelle, her great granddaughter Izzy and her extended family that you are in our thoughts and prayers because of your loss. We want to be available to you in any way possible as you face the long journey of grief.
May I express the family's gratitude for your presence. The journey of grief is long and those who walk it should not have to walk it alone. At times like these nothing takes the place of friends.
As much as we desire those we love to remain with us forever, life continually changes. Nothing is permanent. One of the biggest changes in life comes when someone we love leaves us through death.
Remember that you do not travel your road of grief in isolation. At this very moment, others also bear the heavy weight of loss. What lies beyond physical death remains a mystery for those of us who are left behind. But physical death does not close the door to our connection with our loved ones. Love has the last word. It keeps the door open. As they move on to partake of the one Great Love that unites us all, the love they leave with us as they depart remains forever in our hearts. May your life become richer in kindness and deeper in understanding because of the experience you have had.
We honor a woman today who, through her exuberant love of life, family and friends, touched many lives. When someone dies, a hole is left in our hearts. When someone
who was larger than life dies, the hole seems even bigger and harder to fill. But, that gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. The dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation.
"To Mom"
When you thought I wasn't looking
I say you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw you make incredibly delicious pies and helped us make Christmas cookies, And I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't look
I saw you worrying about all of us instead of yourself, And I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.
When you thought I wasn't look
I say you take care of our house and everyone in it, And I learned we have to take care of what we have.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw how you handled your responsibilities, Even when you didn't feel good,
And I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I say tears come from your eyes,
And I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know
To be a good and productive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking
I looked at you and wanted to say,
"Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.
There is a wonderful song by Stephen Schwartz entitled "For Good" from the play
"Wicked". These are the lyrics to that song.
"For Good"
Words and Music by Stephen Schwartz
I've heard it said that people Come into our lives for a reason, Bringing something we must learn,
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, If we let them,
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true, But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you.
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
It well may be that we may never meet again in this lifetime, So let me say before we part;
So much of me is made of what I learned from you,
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend.
Like a ship blown from its moorings
By a wind off the sea,
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood,
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you .. . Because I knew you .. .
I have been changed for good.
Paul and Daisy Nupp welcomed their fourth child Vaughn into their family on July 31,
1935. She joined her brothers, Roland, Butch and Jack as they grew up in Cleveland in the Ohio City area. She was often picked on by her older brothers, (who would
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have thought they would do that?) but Roland took care of her.
Daisy worked for Wagner Awning doing the sewing on huge projects. Vaughn learned the art of sewing from her mother, later making her own daughters many items of clothing. Much later she sewed very special sparkles on her granddaughter Michelle's First Communion dress. After graduating from West Tech High School she worked in the offices of the Nichols Bakery, Omar Bakery, the Star Bakery, and Metro Hospital. She was the proud mother of her two beautiful daughters, Marlene and Lisa.
She was married to her devoted husband Alan of whom she took such loving care for their 40 years of marriage. She was a great cook, everyone remembering the Sunday dinners where she spent the whole day in the kitchen, her delicious pies and Christmas cookies, which everyone participated in making, and her spaghetti with meat balls. Her meals were always catered to everyone else's favorite likes. There were HUGE family gatherings at her home on Christmas Eve attended by all the relatives. Michelle mentioned there were times when she looked around and didn't know some of those people. Following the main meal she always asked everyone to keep their forks for desert.
"A Woman and a Fork"
There was a young woman who requested that she be buried with a fork in her hand. The pastor asked why? She explained :
"My grandmother once told me this story, ... in all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocolate cake or delicious pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!"'
Vaughn knew something better was coming. As you leave this service today I am going to give you each a fork to take home with you in her memory.
Memorable experiences included trips to the West Side Market and shopping at Parma Town, always followed by lunch. She enjoyed listening to a wide variety of music from Rod Stewart to Tony Bennett. She watched every Browns game while babysitting for the children whose parents were at the games. She looked forward to her trips to see her brother in Arizona, trips to Las Vegas and California.
Vaughn's greatest love was her family, always worrying about everyone else, always asking, "Are you okay?"
She was so very proud of her grandchildren. Two of her proudest times were Michelle's and Micheal's weddings.
Michelle and Michael wrote wonderful tributes to their grandmother which I will read to you now.
From Michelle:
My memories of Grandma seem endless: Getting hissed at my Clouseau, stealing her chapstick, playing Crazy 8's for hours (and I rarely won), her home-cooked "frozen" meals when I was in college, babysitting Izzy every Monday, making tuna melts, lunch at Eat'n Park, every clam bake, every birthday, her love of coffee (which I inherited), every Sunday dinner, peeling potatoes with Grandma Daisy while Grandma Vonnie cooked, her spaghetti and meatballs, polkaing with her at weddings, how she would make Michael his
own salad without tomatoes and make me my own pumpkin cup because I didn't like the crust.
I learned even more about Grandma's strength and courage this summer, watching her fight and surprising the hell out of doctors and nurses. She would be in ICU hooked to machines and in incredible pain, but still worried about us; me driving so far for work, Michael and I pedaling to the point in the heat, missing our birthdays, and Nina walking home late from UH.
She taught me to be strong, courageous, sassy, and stubborn. Grandma, I will miss you every day.
And from Michael: Grandma,
I have so many wonderful memories of you going back as far as I can remember. I remember all of the sleepovers that we had, the midnight snacks (trail bologna, baby Swiss cheese and crackers). I remember you letting me and Michelle watch 20/20 (unfortunately it was about exorcisms). Michelle and I still laugh about that today. I remember the sound of your first artificial heart valves, and the sound of your joyous laugh. I remember tagging along with you, my mom and Lisa on Saturday mornings while you guys went shopping, and the Sunday dinners. I remember going over to your house every Halloween after trick-or-treating to show you our costumes and you always gave us our own bag with the candies that we liked most. I remember the holidays, Thanksgiving at your house, and then you would bake cookies up a storm until Christmas. We would then go to your house on Christmas Eve, and then we would go to your house on Christmas morning after we opened our gifts with mom and dad and you would then spoil us again with so many gifts, and finally we would see you at our house for dinner that same day. I remember you being with us for every monumental moment in my life, my wedding, and every birthday and when you saw and held lzzy for the first time.
I remember when Jess and I took Izzy over to your house to visit and she was only a month or two old and you were holding her and she was looking up at you and I could see it in your eyes how much you loved her and that you would want to help out with watching Izzy when Jess went back to work. Later that same night my mom called me and told me that you asked if you could watch Izzy once a week and I remember those
Mondays so well. I am so glad that you and Izzy were able to build such a beautiful bond spending those Mondays together for 6 months, and she is always talking about going to see "Bugga Vonnie".
More recently I will never forget how hard you fought this summer. You surprised all of us with how hard you would fight after being so sick.
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I never gave up hope that you
could turn it around and get better and I remember you telling me that you are doing your
best to get better and get home while you were in the ICU. You were able to make it home and I am also glad that you got to see Izzy this past week on Tuesday and Thursday and you were able to share a cookie with her that Tuesday night.
I am extremely sad that you will not get to see lzzy grow up, and that you will not meet our new baby on the way. I will be sure that Izzy and the new baby will hear about all of the great memories that I have been able to share with you.
Grandma, thank you for everything. I love you and miss you very much.
Thank you Michelle and Michael for those absolutely beautiful tributes. And, Michael, she will see your beautiful new baby and will watch both great grandchildren grow up.
Vaughn went home from her last hospital stay under the loving care of the VNA, followed by a brief time with hospice care. Her loving family members were with her daily and were able to say their last good-byes. She died comfortably in her home on Monday, October 1, 2012 at the age of 77. She is survived by her loving husband Alan; her daughters Marlene and husband James, and Lisa and husband Michael; her grandchildren Michael and wife Jessica, and Michelle and husband Eric; and her great granddaughter Isabella and that tiny special baby on the way.
"Your Mother Is Always With You" Your mother is always with you ...
She's the whisper of the leaves
As you walk down the street.
She's the smell of bleach
In your freshly laundered socks.
She's the cool hand on your brow
When you're not well.
Your mother lives inside your laughter. She's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, Your first home ...
She's the map you follow
With every step you take.
She's your first love
And your first heart break ...
And nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space .. .
Not even death .. . Will every separate you From your mother.
You carry her inside you ...
I want all of you to remember that finding anything positive when someone dear leaves in one of the hardest things to do, but looking for it helps you to let go of your sorrow. The positive that you may discover is that she can walk and run again. She doesn't have to depend on someone else to help her do it. She can do whatever she wants to do. You can be so happy for the freedom she has in her new life. You will be forever proud to have been her husband, daughter, son-in-law, grandchild, great grandchild or friend.
Please join me in praying the ever comforting words of The Lord's Prayer.
Let us pray:
Our Father, who art in heaven; Hallowed be Thy name;
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven; Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us; And lead us not into temptation;
But deliver us from evil;
For Thine is the kingdom and the power
And the glory for ever.
Amen
You will be forever changed, forever altered by this loss. And that is as it should be. The intensity of the hurt only bears testimony to the depth and meaning of this relationship in your life.
Accept the "angels" that come to you in human form - take in their comfort in words and hugs and deeds. Lean on them. Allow them to hold you up at times when the grief is too heavy to bear alone.
Mostly... give yourselves time. Time to cry, time to rage- if need be, time to walk and think and talk out loud. Don't be afraid to feel all the range of pain and anguish and let it wash through you like a river.
Vaughn was and remains a part of you. Treasure her memory; hold her close to you still. You will carry her with you always. But the sharp edges of this pain, this relentless sadness, will in due time, give way to something gentler, something more bearable.
We say good-bye to her and wish her a gentle journey. We will treasure and honor the gifts and the gusto for life she so beautifully modeled for us.
To end this service of remembrance for the life of Vaughn please listen to the verse the family had printed on the prayer folders located next to the memory book.
"Mother's Prayer"
Sleep well, Dearest Mother.
For you have served us with your hands,
And loved us with your heart,
And we shall be surrounded by your goodness
For the rest of our days.
Sleep in peace, Dearest mother.
As you are being excused by our director you will be listening to another musical selection chosen by the family.
Peace be with you Vaughn, and peace be with you all.
(The Mills Brothers- Someone to Watch Over Me)
Committal Service (October 8, 2012):
Vaughn D. Miller
We meet here today under these autumn skies to dedicate this space to every beautiful and precious memory associated with Vaughn. Here she will rest in peace. Although her body may no longer be with us, her spirit lives on in us so long as memory lasts. "To live in hearts that love, is not to die."
This beloved friend will never die
As long as we live.
For no one is dead until they are forgotten, And we will never forget.
We will remember the things that made
This life so special.
We will remember the times when
We laughed together
And the times when our hearts broke as one.
The memories that bring us grief
And pain today
Will become the source of our
Greatest joy tomorrow. For the memory of a friend Is beyond price.
--Doug Manning
"The Perfect Mother. .."
The perfect mother and the perfect father
Do not exist in this life
And I am glad for that. No child could stand them Or get free from them.
But the mother, of whom you can say
She loved you
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unconditionally,
She gave you a sense of purpose in life, And she showed you what it means
To live faithfully, to age courageously, And to die at peace with herself-
That is all the mother any child could hope for.
That is the mother you had.
Thank you, Vaughn, for being just who you were.
And thanks be to God for her life.
"A Loved One Is A Treasure Of The Heart" By Debbie Burton-Peddle
A loved one is a treasure of the heart,
And to lose a loved one is like losing a piece of yourself.
But the love that Vaughn brought you did not leave, For the essence of her soul lingers.
It cannot escape your heart, For it has been there forever.
Cling to the memories and let them find their way to heal you. The love and the laughter, the joy in the togetherness you shared, Will make you strong.
You'll come to realize that your time together, No matter how long, was meant to be,
And that you were blessed to have
Such a precious gift of love in your life.
Keep your heart beating with loving memories, And trust in your faith to guide you through. Know that though life moves on,
The beauty of love stays behind
To surround and embrace you. Vaughn has left you that ... To hold in your heart forever.
May you receive comfort as you listen to these words from the 23rd Psalm: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want;
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters;
He restoreth my soul;
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake; Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me;
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil;
My cup runneth over;
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
As you leave this place today, may you leave in thanksgiving, not regret, for Vaughn's life was full while she was among you. Touched though you have been with sadness, as you consider her life you will be filled with memories, happy and sad. That she has lived, what she has experienced can never be taken from her or from you. For that you can be thankful.
May you go once again into the business of your days with renewed faith. May Vaughn's memory remain in you and bless your going out and coming in from this day forth.
Rest in peace, Vaughn. And may you all go in peace.
